How to Go Back on Your Word Professionally - The Muse

How to Go Back on Your Word Professionally - The MuseHow to Go Back on Your Word Professionally I considered myself fortunate that I welches already deep into my relationship with my now-husband when ghosting began trending in the dating world. The concept, frankly, of literally disappearing from someones life without an explanation, is brutal, and I felt grateful that Id escaped its trenches. That is, until I realized that ghosting doesnt exist only in romantic circles but in professional ones as well. I learned quickly just how badly it sucks when it happens to you. The first time I was professionally ghosted, it took me a minute to understand that thats what had happened. Initially, I was nave enough to believe that the person whod promised to follow up with me about a project wed discussed in detail- including on the phone- was going to eventually get around to it. She was busy, I was busy. It wasnt pressing. But, it was happening- or she wouldve explained why it wasnt. Or so I thought. Weeks went by, and then finally an email It was riddled with excuses (never a great sign), a profuse apology (nice but not totally necessary), and a promise to deliver once things (see excuses) were sorted. Im a reasonable person, so of course I replied that it was no big deal and that I looked forward to working together. Again, it wasnt a time-sensitive matter, so I figured it would happen when the timing improved. I never figured shed go poof But thats exactly what happened. Id been ghosted. A few more months went by, and I felt it appropriate to give the benefit of the doubt. What if thered been a tragedy? A family emergency? A life-changing circumstance? Social media confirmed none of those things, and so, to me, it meant only one thing Shed just burned a bridge.Instead of sending a short note (maybe even with a little white lie), this womans ghosting had tainted my picture of her. Im too busy to be outwardly mad at anyone, and I dont hold grudges as a rule, but this was an unprofessional move that itll be hard to forget if she contacts me in the future. And so in the interest of preventing further relationships from being discolored in this way, can I make a suggestion? Its OK to bow out of something Youre allowed to say yes to a favor, then regret that and want to say no. Its not the end of the world to cancel plans, or even to sever a relationship if youve got a good reason (and only you can answer that)- but its super not cool to say youll be in touch and then fall off the face of the earth.If youre dealing with any of the scenarios I just described above, this is what you could say instead of pulling a disappearing actHi Name,Ive been looking at my schedule and I realized that Im not going to be able to contribute to name of project after all. I hope you understand, and I hope we can be in touch down the line. Best of luck to you in this endeavor.Regards,Your NameOr for an enthusiastic friend of a friend who really wants to meet you to pick your brainHi Name,Ive been looking at my schedule and I realized that Im not going to be able to meet for coffee/drinks/discuss my career after all. I hope you understand, and I hope we can be in touch down the line. Best of luck to you in your job search.Regards,Your NameOr, if youve let this linger for a while now and reading this article shocked you into wanting to reach outHi Name,So sorry for the delay in getting back to you Im usually much faster with my responses. Things have been busier than usual on my end and Ive realized that Im not going to be able to meet for coffee/assist with the project/volunteer after all. I hope you understand, and I hope we can be in touch down the line. Best of luck to youRegards,Your NameIt doesnt get any easier than this. You dont have to give details. But if youre the one whos decided that a professional partnership of any kind isnt going to work, you do have to be considerate- and that means being upfront. If the details make you uncomfortab le, dont dig into them. If youre asked for more information, then you can decide how much you want to divulge. But the sure thing here is that theres a way to extricate yourself from something if its what you decide you need to do. Going radio silent isnt an acceptable approach. Its merely a cowardly one- thats as true professionally as it is personally, and its hard to forget.