How to Go Back on Your Word Professionally - The Muse

How to Go Back on Your Word Professionally - The MuseHow to Go Back on Your Word Professionally I considered myself fortunate that I welches already deep into my relationship with my now-husband when ghosting began trending in the dating world. The concept, frankly, of literally disappearing from someones life without an explanation, is brutal, and I felt grateful that Id escaped its trenches. That is, until I realized that ghosting doesnt exist only in romantic circles but in professional ones as well. I learned quickly just how badly it sucks when it happens to you. The first time I was professionally ghosted, it took me a minute to understand that thats what had happened. Initially, I was nave enough to believe that the person whod promised to follow up with me about a project wed discussed in detail- including on the phone- was going to eventually get around to it. She was busy, I was busy. It wasnt pressing. But, it was happening- or she wouldve explained why it wasnt. Or so I thought. Weeks went by, and then finally an email It was riddled with excuses (never a great sign), a profuse apology (nice but not totally necessary), and a promise to deliver once things (see excuses) were sorted. Im a reasonable person, so of course I replied that it was no big deal and that I looked forward to working together. Again, it wasnt a time-sensitive matter, so I figured it would happen when the timing improved. I never figured shed go poof But thats exactly what happened. Id been ghosted. A few more months went by, and I felt it appropriate to give the benefit of the doubt. What if thered been a tragedy? A family emergency? A life-changing circumstance? Social media confirmed none of those things, and so, to me, it meant only one thing Shed just burned a bridge.Instead of sending a short note (maybe even with a little white lie), this womans ghosting had tainted my picture of her. Im too busy to be outwardly mad at anyone, and I dont hold grudges as a rule, but this was an unprofessional move that itll be hard to forget if she contacts me in the future. And so in the interest of preventing further relationships from being discolored in this way, can I make a suggestion? Its OK to bow out of something Youre allowed to say yes to a favor, then regret that and want to say no. Its not the end of the world to cancel plans, or even to sever a relationship if youve got a good reason (and only you can answer that)- but its super not cool to say youll be in touch and then fall off the face of the earth.If youre dealing with any of the scenarios I just described above, this is what you could say instead of pulling a disappearing actHi Name,Ive been looking at my schedule and I realized that Im not going to be able to contribute to name of project after all. I hope you understand, and I hope we can be in touch down the line. Best of luck to you in this endeavor.Regards,Your NameOr for an enthusiastic friend of a friend who really wants to meet you to pick your brainHi Name,Ive been looking at my schedule and I realized that Im not going to be able to meet for coffee/drinks/discuss my career after all. I hope you understand, and I hope we can be in touch down the line. Best of luck to you in your job search.Regards,Your NameOr, if youve let this linger for a while now and reading this article shocked you into wanting to reach outHi Name,So sorry for the delay in getting back to you Im usually much faster with my responses. Things have been busier than usual on my end and Ive realized that Im not going to be able to meet for coffee/assist with the project/volunteer after all. I hope you understand, and I hope we can be in touch down the line. Best of luck to youRegards,Your NameIt doesnt get any easier than this. You dont have to give details. But if youre the one whos decided that a professional partnership of any kind isnt going to work, you do have to be considerate- and that means being upfront. If the details make you uncomfortab le, dont dig into them. If youre asked for more information, then you can decide how much you want to divulge. But the sure thing here is that theres a way to extricate yourself from something if its what you decide you need to do. Going radio silent isnt an acceptable approach. Its merely a cowardly one- thats as true professionally as it is personally, and its hard to forget.

If you sleep in this position, you will have this type of nightmare

If you sleep in this position, you will have this type of nightmareIf you sleep in this position, you will have this type of nightmareRecent studies have shown that sleeping in a certain position can impact your mood, your health, your relationship and even how much coffee you drink. But it can also affect what type of dreams you can have which, as anyone who has ever had a nightmare (so pretty much everyone), can be quite disturbing and sometimes ruin what could be a good night of sleep. And as we all know there are many different types of dreams and nightmares that can have very different types of meanings. Not showing up for your high school senior exam (even when you are well into your 30s and have long since graduated) to walking naked into the office can say a lot about what the person is feeling in their day to day lives and it turns out which direction you face when you sleep plays a factor.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, P roductivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreDr. Michael J. Breus, PhDand DABSM (Diplomate of the American Board of Sleep Medicine) also known as The Sleep Doctor looked into how certain sleep positions can determine types of dreams and specifically nightmares. He wrote in Psychology Today that left side sleepers tend to have more nightmares than right side sleepers. But back sleepers, though it is considered the best position for your health and career, can also produce consistent nightmares. And what is frustrating for back sleepers is that they will have more trouble recalling their dreams. What is the point of a nightmare if you cant analyze it?According to a recentstudy published in the journalDreamingwhich Breus cited,stomach sleepers tend to have very vivid dreams that are often intense and sexual. Plus they often are restrained or immobilized in these dreams. The lead researcher of the study, Calvin Kai-Ching Yu, PhD, said that physical pressure on the body when slee ping on ones stomach could be behindtheerotic dreams. Different sleep positions may create pressure to different parts of the body, and body feelings may be the sources of dream elements, he said. It should be noted that the study, out of Hong Kong, was quite small though.Well if you find yourself having nightmares at least a few times a week, you may want to mix up your sleep position.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people

9 quotes from Melissa McCarthys InStyle interview that will inspire you

9 quotes from Melissa McCarthys InStyle bewerbungsgesprch that will inspire you9 quotes from Melissa McCarthys InStyle interview that will inspire youMelissa McCarthy is one of those actresses who is known for making people smile. From her earnest portrayal of Sookie on Gilmora Girls to her show-stopping comedy in Blockbusters such as The Heat and Bridesmaids, she can get a laugh from the dourest of us on days when it feels like we dont have a funny bone in our bodies.Now, McCarthy is getting awards buzz for her dramatic turn in Can You Ever Forgive Me?, a 2018 film about celebrity biographerLee Israel. Meanwhile, shes opening up about her life and career in a new QA with InStyle magazine. Here are a few of the best nuggets of wisdom from McCarthys lips - and what they mean.On the moment she found successWhen McCarthy starred in Bridesmaids in 2011, she already had quite a few credits to her name. But none of them had yet to make her the star she is today.She told InStyleI remember thinking, I dont know if this will work at all, but it seems like the funniest thing Ive ever been a part of. My husband actor and producer Ben Falcone and I were over at Bridesmaidsdirector Paul Feigs house the night it opened, and everyone kept telling us that it was bedrngnis going to open well. And then we were watching the numbers come in, and we jumped up, got in the car, and ran in and out of two different movie theaters. They were both packed, and the audiences were enjoying it. I felt like that was a whole change, like, maybe our sensibility works and were not alone. Maybe I can write stuff.On dealing with successIts still just me. Ive fully embraced it in terms of it can all go away as fast as it came. I know that, and Ive seen it happen. I do feel like I work 500 percent on everything. Im a complete obsessive. Im in on every department. I want to talk about wigs, costumes, makeup, and construction because I love every part of it. If this all goes away and I didnt try, Id be, like, the dumbest idiot on earth.On people who dont work hardI spent 20 years trying to get a job, so when someone doesnt really put in the effort, it just makes me mad. How easy did it come for you that you dont feel like youre grateful, or that you dont have to try? Nothing is more unflattering than someone who doesnt try.On criticism that wasnt constructiveYears ago I was at a press conference for eitherThe HeatorTammy,and somebody from a very big organization kept asking me, Why do you always feel the need to be so grotesque? It was a huge interview with maybe 100 people in the room, and he was sneering. I said, What are we talking about? I cant answer your question because I dont understand it. He goes, You look sloppy, youre not wearing any makeup, your hair is not done, youre yelling at people. I was like, OK, so have you ever asked this of a guy? Im playing a character. You need to get out more if you dont think there are real women like that On working with her spouseMc Carthy and her husband, actor and producer Ben Falcone, work in the same industry, and they seem to have a great personal and professional relationship.But McCarthy revealed that not everyone expects their time together at work to be as drama-free as it isWeve done four movies now, and the first questions are always, How awful was it to work with your spouse? How much do you fight? Whos really in charge? When we didThe Boss,it was, Whos really the boss? We responded, Its fun. We met doing this. We know weve been hit by a lucky stick. They were like, Come on, just how difficult is it? And Im like, No, its, like, the best thing Ive ever had in my life. And people would get aggressive and finally say things like, You know what, if you dont want to answer the question, fine. On gendered expectationsHaving two daughters Vivian, 11, and Georgette, 8, I think there is a weird layer in the world for women where its not just about looks but its also, Are you pleasant? Do you not make trouble ? I dont want to be around someone whos a pain in the ass and confrontational, but I also dont think that you always have to be Stepford Wife-yand cant have opinions.On helping others at workI think once youre a producer, you cant take that hat off. But whatever it is, you want to show the world that you want to live it. It cant be an all-white world. Thats not the world we live in. Its not realistic.On other impressive women in HollywoodToo often, women dont give other women the credit they deserve. McCarthy wasnt going to have that in her InStyle interviewI love thatJennifer Aniston, that little nugget. Thats a person to the soles of her feet. Just solid, good. I thinkNicole Kidmanis a smart, non-bullshit puppy. She isnt going to mince words, isnt going to try to play a game. Shes got a hell of a picker. She picks things that are really interesting, and shes not concerned about how they may be seen.Amy Adamsis the same. I love that she is starting to produce.I would like Amy Adams to run for president. I think the world would be better in general. Id likeViola Davisto wake me up every morning and be like, Heres your thought for the day, and Id literally write it down. Ive knownOctavia Spencerfor 20 years, and she is the same person she has always been. saatkorn withAllison Janney. They didnt change. Theyre not adapting for their jobs or their careers. They are exactly, unapologetically as they were.On ambitionI love my work, and I want to do better every time. Im super self-conflicted. We rewrite and rewrite until were done making the movie and Im still like, Can I get three other lines in Not because I want to win but because I love what we get to do. We always joke that Im a shark. Ben likes to sit down, but Im better in motion. I want to make. I want to do.